Drawing the Line: How Boundaries Can Save You From Burnout
Life in 2024 has no shortage of demands. We are living in a time of a troubled economy, social unrest, mental-health crises, climate change, and the list goes on and on. To make matters worse, life and its demands are heavily documented in the media, often increasing our anxiety and causing us to feel painfully aware of the state of all things at all times. All this on top of our own personal stressors, which can include our jobs, relationships, parenting, school, caring for loved ones, and more.
I’m not writing this to you so you will feel more stressed, though a collective deep breath might be necessary right about now. I’m writing this to you so you know that you are not alone. And some even better news: Boundaries are a great way to cope with life’s stressors to prevent total burnout.
You may recall from the Spring edition of Seven Mile Times that boundaries are the rules and limits that we set for ourselves for healthy engagement with the world we live in. And while yes, we often talk about boundaries as they relate to our interpersonal relationships, you can set boundaries with just about anything in your life.
What’s burnout? Burnout happens when stress is not treated and exceeds the limits of our ability to cope. You can think of stress as a heightened emotional response. In times of stress, your heart races, you feel a tightness in your chest, you might feel irritable, or maybe you’re having difficulty focusing because you’re entirely overstimulated. Burnout, on the other hand, is the numbness that sets in once the stress has carried on for too long.
Symptoms of burnout include apathy, fatigue, lack of appetite, feelings of hopelessness, and difficulty sleeping. If you’re thinking that these symptoms sound eerily similar to depression, you’re right. Burnout causes us to lose our spark. If you or someone you know is at risk of burnout, there are important steps to take for prevention.
1. Recognize signs of stress
These can look different for each individual; however, some common signs include irritability, rapid breathing and heart rate, headaches and stomachaches, difficulty sleeping, and teeth grinding. Once you start experiencing these symptoms, it’s time to look at what might be causing them. Addressing and treating stress will help to prevent burnout.
2. Pay attention to what drains you
Now that we know we are stressed, let’s look at what could be causing it. For some, a big source of stress is our smartphone – or more specifically, our relationship with our smartphone. With so much information flooding in, in the form of text messages, emails, alerts, notifications, and social media postings, our phones can easily overwhelm and drain us of our energy. Other sources of drain can include the news, our to-do lists, and avoidance of necessary tasks.
We also want to look at the people in our lives who contribute to our stress or drain our energy. It’s important to note that it’s not necessary to cut these people out of our lives – but it is necessary to establish clear boundaries with them to maintain our health.
3. Tune in to what excites you
Things that excite you can be people, hobbies, entertainment, even work! You will know that something excites you when you feel happiest and most at peace when you are engaging in it. It is often our respite from the stress of the world, and we feel most like ourselves in those moments. It is the opposite of how we feel in the presence of stress.
4. Set your boundaries
Now that you know your sources of stress – sometimes called “energy vampires” – come up with a plan for tackling them. A boundary with your smartphone might look like putting it on airplane mode while you need to concentrate, or putting the ringer on silent and setting the phone down in a separate room from where you’re trying to concentrate. A boundary with the news might look like limiting how much you watch the news or how you access it. Boundaries with social media might look like deleting the app for a bit, and jumping back on when you feel ready. Boundaries with to-do lists might look like prioritizing your tasks and scheduling time to get them done. And boundaries with people might look like saying, “I don’t have time to talk right now, but I hope you are well and I will call you when I’m able.”
Better boundaries with the things or people that drain us allow us to have more time and energy for what excites us. Thus, burnout stays at bay. Which takes us to our next step…
5. Make a self-care plan
Consider the logistics of how you will make more time for what excites you. This part is very important, because having a specific plan is going to ensure you will actually keep these important self-care activities in your routine. For example, you may want to schedule time in your week for walks outside, or distraction-free reading, or engagement with your favorite people. Schedule your workouts, your date nights, your meditations. Whatever makes you feel “you,” plan to make it happen.
6. Be accountable
Hold yourself accountable for your boundaries and self-care plan in a way that best suits you. Often people like to track this in a journal, or talk to their loved ones about their plan so that those loved ones can help hold them accountable. If you are in therapy, talk with your therapist about your boundaries and self-care for burnout prevention so that they can support you and help you tackle any obstacles along the way.
Yes, life today can be quite stressful. But yes, you have the tools to cope and develop healthy boundaries to reduce stress and maximize your happiness. Look for more on boundaries to support your mental health in the July edition of Seven Mile Times.